Contest: Best Feminist Pick-up Line!
on May 3, 2012
and modified on May 3, 2012.
Introducing my first ever contest! You could win a stylish and alluring Gyno-Star Keychain — like the one pictured here:
Fight sexism while maintaining your sexy.
I’m giving the keychain to whoever comes up with the best FEMINIST PICK-UP LINE. “Best” is determined entirely at my own discretion. Pick-up lines can be what someone might say to a feminist, OR what a feminist might say when trying to hit on someone. However you want to interpret it.
Enter the contest by writing your pick-up line in the comments below. Enter as many times as you like. I’ll announce the winner(s) on Tuesday, May 8.
Good luck!
To a Feminist: “Hi, I’m not Bobby Fisher; can I buy you a drink?”
To a Feminist: “To paraphrase Laura Mulvey, I appreciate your to-be-looked-at-ness. Join me for some glass ceiling smashing?”
Hey baby, wanna ride the third wave?
What say I get my hooks into your bell?
Have you got twenty cents, baby? Because you’re questioning the dominant male paradigm.
Hey doll, wanna carry my nation?
Wanna see the mirror on my glass ceiling?
Hey, babe, wanna go somewhere and flunk the Bechdel Test?
Sure a fish doesn’t NEED a bicycle, but if you were a fish who WANTED one, wouldn’t you want one like me?
“Wanna see how I earn that extra 25 cents on the dollar?”
I dont approve of glass ceilings. However, I do have a glass coffee table…
your paradigm or mine?
From a feminist: I’ve been told that I have the sexual moral scruples of a man.
“Girls you can just call me Charles Moulton because I think we got something special!”
“Hi, would you like to go for coffee some time?”
Can’t say I’d ask a feminist out any different than I would anyone else..
“Excuse me, would you mind helping me with this Bechdel Test?”
Hi – I am a feminist who wants sex. You’re a guy, so you want sex. Why don’t we just skip all the dating and stupid chat-up lines and have sex? And afterwards, you won’t have any oblications at all. Shall we?#
Chris
Hello, I didn’t want to make any presuppositions or value judgement based on your appearance so I snuck a look at your credit card earlier to get your name and in a not-at-all stalkerish way I found your facebook page and linkedin profile and in ways that don’t at all violate your privacy, I assure you, I discovered you got a 3.8 GPA in college which I find very stimulating.
Want to do it?
Hey, what’s your wave?
You can bet your (Susan B Anthony’s) bottom dollar (coin) I love to go somewhere.
Just my luck! I’ve finally managed to become gender neutral, and I run into the most amazing woman I’ve ever seen. Can I buy you a drink?
“Hey, wanna go back to your place and watch Buffy?”
“Ooo, girl!! I can tell your mama was a SCUBA diver ’cause you’re full of strength, class, understanding, brains, and assertiveness.”
Wanna show that we’re equals by doing our impression of an equals sign?
Did it hurt? When I fell from heaven? No when you shattered that glass ceiling, yo.
If I told you you had a beautiful body of work would you hold it against me that I needed more time to fully appreciate it? Perhaps you could assist me in understanding the more subtle nuances?
Can I buy you a drink? And not because I feel that you are incapable financially of purchasing your own but more because I want to play upon cultural norms regarding reciprocity in hopes that you will feel an obligation to offer me some access to your vagina in lieue of monetary repayment. Vagna!
I respect that while you don’t dress to please men, you do take pride in your appearance. And while your self worth is not tied to material possessions you don’t equate powerful with being masculine. The fact that you have accessories that are both well made and aesthetically pleasing is a sign of good taste not the fact that you are looking for external validation. And with this confidence and self awareness I would assume you are not tied to the archaic and Patristic concept that sexual intercourse is only for reproduction. In closing, nice shoes, want to fuck?
And since Rebecca is my mom I want to officially and publicly recuse myself from the contest. But I did want to play. And I had another idea about let’s put a baby in you to show the world that you’re in control of your body. Or something.
“You wanted to see me, boss?”
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